Summary: We often think that acting embarrassed after a social stumble—like tripping or misnaming a colleague—shows humility and respect for social norms. However, a new study suggests that for minor, harmless mistakes, laughing at yourself is a far more effective reputational recovery strategy.
Across six experiments with over 3,000 participants, researchers found that people who laugh at their own blunders are perceived as warmer, more competent, and more authentic than those who display traditional embarrassment.
Key Facts
- The Reputation Boost: Laughing at yourself signals social confidence and helps observers recognize that you realize the mistake was minor and accidental.
- Over-Embarrassment: Observers often perceive traditional embarrassment as “excessive” for small mistakes, making the person seem less authentic or socially awkward.
- The “Harmless” Caveat: Laughter only works for blunders that cause no harm. If a mistake results in an injury (even to yourself) or damages someone else’s property, laughing is seen as inappropriate and insensitive.
- Warmth and Competence: People who can joke about their minor faux pas are rated higher in both social warmth and professional competence than those who dwell on the shame of the moment.
- Reducing Tension: Self-deprecating humor acts as a social “reset button,” immediately de-escalating the awkwardness for everyone involved.
Source: APA
When you make a small mistake that doesn’t harm anyone else – such as tripping over a curb or misremembering a name – people will like you more if you can laugh at yourself rather than act embarrassed, finds research published by the American Psychological Association.
“Our findings suggest that people often overestimate how harshly others judge their minor social mistakes,” said study co-author Övül Sezer, PhD, of the Cornell University SC Johnson School of Business. “For minor, harmless blunders, laughing at yourself can signal social confidence, reduce tension and communicate that the mistake was accidental.”
The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Prior research has found there are social benefits to acting embarrassed after committing a faux pas – people like to see embarrassment because it signals remorse and respect for social norms, according to Sezer.
“But in everyday life, we often see another response — people laugh at themselves. We wanted to understand whether laughing at yourself might sometimes be even more effective than showing embarrassment – and if so, when,” she said.
In six online experiments with more than 3,000 total participants, researchers asked participants to read about other people’s embarrassing mishaps, such as walking into a glass door at a party or accidentally waving to the wrong person at the theatre.
Participants were then shown how the people in the stories reacted. In some experiments, they were told that the people acted embarrassed or that they laughed at themselves; in other experiments they were shown pictures of embarrassed-looking or laughing people.
Overall, participants judged the people who laughed at their own minor blunders to be warmer, more competent and more authentic than those who acted embarrassed.
“What’s interesting is that embarrassment was often perceived as excessive,” Sezer said. “Observers tended to think that actors who displayed embarrassment were feeling more embarrassed than the situation warranted, while laughing signaled that they recognized the mistake was minor.”
There was, however, a caveat – the mistake had to be harmless. In one experiment, a person was described as accidentally tripping and breaking their own arm, in another, the person tripped and knocked over a colleague, breaking the colleague’s arm. In those cases, the person who laughed at themselves was seen as behaving inappropriately.
“What’s important is calibrating the reaction to the seriousness of the mistake,” Sezer says.
In the future, the researchers plan to look at how other variables affect their findings – including cultural norms around embarrassment and humor, gender norms, and settings like workplaces, to better understand when humor is socially effective versus risky.
Key Questions Answered:
A: Only if it’s a “low-stakes” blunder. If you spill coffee on your own desk or trip during a walk to a meeting, a quick laugh shows you’re human and confident. But if you make a mistake on a major report or forget a client’s deadline, skip the jokes—genuine remorse is still the best path for serious errors.
A: It seems counterintuitive, but laughing at a mistake shows that you aren’t rattled by it. It suggests you have a high level of “emotional intelligence” and self-assurance, which observers equate with overall competence.
A: The study shows that you should be the one to start it. By laughing at yourself first, you give others “permission” to find the situation funny rather than awkward, which actually makes them like you more.
Editorial Notes:
- This article was edited by a Neuroscience News editor.
- Journal paper reviewed in full.
- Additional context added by our staff.
About this psychology research news
Author: Lea Winerman
Source: APA
Contact: Lea Winerman – APA
Image: The image is credited to Neuroscience News
Original Research: Closed access.
“Transcending Embarrassment: On the Reputational Benefits of Laughing at Yourself” by Goksel, S., Sezer, O., & Berman, J. Z.. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
DOI:10.1037/pspa0000477
Abstract
Transcending Embarrassment: On the Reputational Benefits of Laughing at Yourself
How do people judge those who commit faux pas?
Across six preregistered studies (N = 3,204), we find that the answer depends on how a faux pas is presented to others and the extent to which it harms others. For faux pas that cause minimal or no harm to others, those who display amusement (by laughing at their error) are seen as warmer, more competent, and more authentic (though not significantly more or less moral) than those who display embarrassment.
While both amusement and embarrassment displays serve an appeasement function (which reflects positively on actors), observers view those displaying embarrassment as being excessively self-conscious (which limits positive character judgments). In contrast, amusement displays are deemed more emotionally calibrated, since they signal that an actor recognizes the faux pas is benign and therefore not serious enough to warrant negative self-conscious emotions.
In other words, observers do not believe actors ought to feel particularly embarrassed upon committing common benign faux pas. However, when a faux pas harms others, those who display amusement are seen as experiencing a deficient level of self-consciousness, since, in this case, amusement indicates a disregard for the welfare of others.
As a result, as harm to others increases, the benefits of displaying amusement become either attenuated or reversed relative to displaying embarrassment. Together, these findings provide a simple framework for understanding when amusement and embarrassment displays reflect well on individuals who commit faux pas.
